FoggyRock General Forum

We have gone through this as well.  My son is a year and half older, and has always been a lot bigger than my daughter.  He is very compulsive and went through a stage where he would strike out physically at his sister before he thought it through. He would usually feel bad afterwards, but the damage was already done.  I just hated to see my daughter targeted because he did the same to me and I knew how it felt.  So, we decided that we had to make sure that Haley always had an escape route in case her brother's moods changed.  My husband built her a little log cabin in the back yard, with a lock, so she had somewhere to run if he was bothering her outside.  In the house, we put a lock on her bedroom door and one on the basement door so she could escape on either floor.  We traded our wagon in for a used SUV with a third seat in the very back so she wouldn't have to sit beside him in the car.  That was about 4 years ago, and for the most part, thank goodness, he leaves her completely alone now......

Yep. I am wondering what will happen at an ER someday when she does get hurt enough to go. They already suspect the parents of child abuse anyway. Kelsey is small still so she can't escape. I need to intervene. He is starting to show some restraint.

Hi...I just read your post...your child was suspended?  How on earth did the school think that would actually help?  Also, is she protected from that sort of disciplinary action by her SPED IEP?  I don't mean to sound like a preaching jerk but similar situations at my son's school have convinced us to home school him.  We just found that the ways that they would "discipline" him when his behavior became aggressive (because of his disability) were actually just punishment that did not teach him anything about handling his frustrations more appropriately and instead increased his aggressive behaviors!  Also, we were concerned about him hurting another child!  He would not have been able to handle that and we were also worried about how his schoolmates and their parents would feel and how they would react.  Argh!

The way I identify about these posts is to say I'm not in ya's situation but I do feel greatly for you all. I have a sister who will set me straight in a heartbeat. I have memories of her pushing me down a flight of stairs, locking me out of the house and slamming a door on my wrist. And, she isn't on the spectrum. I just think she was born with a inbreed very strong personality that didn't get the right kind of guidance. Generally personalities such as this have great potential for leadership qualities to exist. It must be really frustrating to have leadership qualities and be autistic, I can only imagine the frustration of that. I love the cabin the backyard idea, what a mom!!!  I wish I would have had a cabin. Laurie "Striving"

What a perfect topic.  I have a 12 yr old son (Evan) who has been through the ringer with Raymond (15).  Evan has even said, "I hate his autism!"  Raymond would often target Evan, even though it was not in anger, he'd throw him around and pounce on him.  I have video of Evan cowering when Raymond walked by him, it was so heartbreaking to watch this.  I would reprimand Raymond and set consequences, they were very harsh.  He didn't understand what I was saying, but he understood the punishment and did not like it.  So it didn't take long for him to make the connection.  He understood.  He would still want to stim by putting his fingers through his brother's hair constantly, but he wasn't hitting him any more.  He would say, "Nice Raymond," and I would say ok.  Evan is a very mellow very loving son.  They get along now; although their disagreements are verbal and atypical.  When our daughter was born (Sheridan) Raymond was 4.  He couldn't do enough for her.  He even sang the Barney song to her in the hospital.  I cried .. he hadn't started talking yet and he sang this song from beginning to end.  Sheridan now gets on his nerves but he is still protective of her as is Evan.  I don't know why he was so good with Sheridan and so tough with Evan.  I believe God gave us Evan to help with Raymond.  Raymond used to call me Michelle until Evan started calling me Mommy.  Raymond started mimicking his brother in all areas, Evan taught him a lot.