FoggyRock General Forum

I agree that our ASD kids need limits just like all children.  Often they are testing the boundaries just to see where they are, and if we ignore their behavior, they get the message that no one is in charge--and honestly, most kids don't really want to be the boss....

However, over the years of learning to parent my son with autism, I have realized that often, what appeared to be defiance or deliberate disobedience was not always what it seemed.  Sometimes he was telling me, as best he could, that the environment was not right for him, or that I was expecting him to participate in something that wasn't meaningful--or that maybe he just didn't feel good.....So, I guess I would advise to just step back, when you can, and before you discipline, try to listen and see if there is a hidden message in the behavior.

When my son is defiant, he will not back down until the situation is changed. I found that I have to wait until things are calm without punishing him, then we can usually talk about why the situation caused us to react and explain why he must give in next time. Sometimes he will still get a time out after the discussion, but at least he knows why. Most of the time this works. Luckily for us, he's pretty well behaved.

i am new here, but my son Gabe is nine and is on the severe end of the spectrum. he pinches and scratches. he hardly ever does this out of aggresion. it's like he does not even realize that it causes pain. he himself, has a very high threshold for pain. he has stepped on a piece of glass and never even noticed. i could go on and on but, he can't be the only one like this. right?

thank you everyon for your imput, I have had such a hard time wirh what to do with my son, I feel like I am geting nowhere in this area. He dose not seem like he is trying to be bad at all. He in so many ways is still like a 1 year old but in such a big body.